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The Mayor of New York, A Deer in the Headlights

As if they didn’t have enough trouble what with two grand juries looking into Campaign Finance shenanigans, corruption and bribery, the Administration of Mayor Wilhelm, Wilhelm aka Bill De Blasio, we now find out, was getting ready to shoot Bambi.

It seems that a young buck, that’s the deer not the Mayor, had meandered himself into Jackie Robinson park up in Harlem.  It’s thought that he swam one of the rivers surrounding Manhattan looking for a young Doe.  Of course there were no deer there well except for him, so he probably got some bad intel.  But basically Bambi wandered around the park, not bothering anyone just doing what a deer does which is mostly eat leaves and poop and no one complained either.  But then the Wilhelm, Wilhelm Administration decided that this needed to be dealt with.  They caught the deer and then an Administration spokesperson announced that they had no intention to “release the deer into the busy and dense borough of Manhattan.”  They were going whack Bambi.

Then in stepped Governor of the State Cuomo the Younger, you know him as Andrew Cuomo, and he offered to take Bambi off the City’s hands and release him into the wilds of upstate New York.  So this was headed for a happy ending. It was going to be just like one of those old black and white movies from the 1930’s.  You know the ones where the death row guy is walked to the electric chair, strapped in and with only a few seconds left before they pull the switch, a phone call from the Governor comes in and he’s saved.  Saved because just like our own Bambi up in Harlem, he’s innocent.

Now Mayor Wilhelm, Wilhelm it seems might not be so innocent.  And some good news here, it was The New York Times who broke the story that two grand juries are looking into the shenanigans of the Wilhelm, Wilhelm Administration.  So it seems that the NY Times is actually doing some reporting, instead of just dreaming up all manner of perfidy about The Donald Himself.  And, when two grand juries one state and one federal, are looking into your business, it’s not good.  But then things got ugly because as the Governor’s guys were coming to save Bambi, he died.  Of course Mayor Wilhelm, Wilhelm’s guys are saying Bambi died from natural causes but some say this is very suspicious.  It’s as if someone had cut the phone line in the old movie and the innocent guy in the chair, got fried.

And, if it is shown that Mayor Wilhelm, Wilhelm was culpable in the death of Bambi, he is toast.  Because it is one thing to take bribes and try to fix elections, everyone can understand that and he might even beat those raps.  But all bets will be off, if the public finds out that he and his boys, whacked Bambi.

BTW there is some history here.  A few years back on Ground Hog Day, Mayor Wilhelm, Wilhelm was handed the Ground Hog and he dropped him.  They had it covered up that the Ground Hog died but it got leaked.  So stay tuned right here, as this unfolds.

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6 comments to The Mayor of New York, A Deer in the Headlights

  • mistermuse

    Unlike former NYC mayors like Koch, Bloomberg and his Rudyness, we out here in the hinterlands hear very little of Mayor Wilhelm Wilhelm. Apparently he either tries to keep a low profile, or there isn’t enough room there, media-wise, for both him and The Donald….and we know who wins that battle. When the mayor of NYC isn’t Big News outside the Big Apple, there’s got to be a story there. Maybe Bambi found it out, and so he had to go.

  • Don Frankel

    Muse you could be onto something. Maybe Bambi knew something and could we say that Mayor Wilhelm, Wilhelm wanted the buck to stop here? I mean before he could get out of town and tell everyone.

  • Don and Muse,

    And to think I’d heard nothing about any of this. Absolutely zero!
    What would I ever do without you guys to fill in the news gaps in my life? 🙂


  • Don Frankel

    Mark, we pride ourselves for going where the rest of the media fears to tread but we were shocked that this was picked up by both the New York Post and the New York Daily News. But then maybe we shouldn’t be. Murdering a deer is cervicide and as we pointed out Mayor Wilhelm, Wilhelm has the blood of a Groundhog on his hands which is rodentcide. We might have a serial killer here.

  • Debby

    A serial killer? I love it!

  • Don Frankel

    Debby, first the groundhog and now Bambi. The FBI says a serial killer is someone who commits three separate murders over a period longer than a month. But other definitions say it can be just two murders. It’s also possible that there were other victims but no one’s found the bodies yet.

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