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HOW TO WRITE NEWS LIKE THE BIG BOYS

BRYCE ON POLITICS

– It’s really quite easy; just fill-in the blanks.

Day after day, President Trump is under attack by the Mainstream Media with alleged leaked information from anonymous sources. Whether the sources are legitimate or not appears to be inconsequential. They have become so common, the public has become skeptical and the credibility of the press has deteriorated. It is no small wonder, people today overwhelmingly do not trust the press and prefer getting news from other sources, particularly social media.

In studying such articles in the press, I have discovered there is a pattern in terms of how they are written. So, as a public service, I am providing a template for how to write such a column. I’ve developed this as one of those crazy fill-in-the-blanks stories we remember from our childhood. To use it, either answer the questions as they are introduced or have someone solicit the multiple choice answers from you before you begin. This is intended to be a fun way to demonstrate an important point, the American public is being fed pablum under the guise of valid news.

DATELINE – Enter date and location:
(select)
– The White House, Washington, DC
– Capitol Hill, Washington, DC
– Albany, NY
– Chicago, IL
– Sacramento, Mars

In a stunning change of events in the nation’s capitol, President Donald Trump has been accused of the heinous crime of
(select)
– Developing legislation revoking Sanctuary Cities.
– Disorderly conduct with Congressional Democrats.
– Failing to recognize CNN anchor Jim Acosta.
– Firing a government employee for leaking information to the press.
– Pulling the pigtail of a girl in 5th grade.
– Referring to North Korean leader Kim Jong-un as “Oddjob.”
– Slandering “resistance” Libtards.

The accusation, as reported in The Times and The Post, came from anonymous sources close to
(select)
– The President.
– The Vice President.
– Congress.
– The Pentagon.
– Mrs. Ferguson’s Third Grade Class.

Even though there is no physical evidence to support their contention, the media stands by the statements made by their sources, who like most other people interviewed for this article spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss sensitive internal deliberations.

The incident has already been dubbed by the Mainstream Media as
(select)
– Fruitgate.
– Lynchgate.
– Mediagate.
– Putzgate.
– Slimegate.
– Snowflakegate.
– Tailgate.

When asked about the incident, the President responded
(select)
– “I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer; next?”
– “It’s just another example of more Fake News; next?”
– “It’s time to drain the Mainstream Media cesspool; next?”
– “Who is making this crap up for you, the ACLU? Next?”
– “You’re kidding right? Where’s the beef? Next?”

By failing to answer the question properly, news media insiders took this as an admission of guilt by the president.

Learning of the news, Democrats were incensed. “This is clearly a violation of Constitutional Law. I am appalled with the conduct of the president. Here is another example of why he is unfit to lead the country. This is grounds for impeachment and certainly would not happen under our watch,” said
(select)
– Cong. Nancy “We have to pass it to see what is in it” Pelosi (CA).
– Sen. Chuck “The Schill” Schumer (NY).
– Fmr. Pres. Barack Obama.
– Fmr. Pres. Bill Clinton.
– Fmr. Sec. of State Hillary Clinton.
– Gov. Jerry “Moonbeam” Brown.
– NYC Mayor Bill “Boom Boom” de Blasio.
– Filmmaker Michael Moore.
– The Wicked Witch of the West (aka “Pocahontas”).

As a result of the unsubstantiated accusation, the Democrats are demanding
(select)
– an independent counsel costing millions of dollars.
– a Congressional Investigation costing millions of dollars.
– a session in “The People’s Court” with Judge Marilyn.
– a Russian Tribunal headed by Vladimir Putin (no charge).
– the president be sent to the principal’s office.

All of which will produce nothing.

Progressive insiders fear Chief Supreme Court Justice John Roberts will intervene, drop the charges, and order corporal punishment for the Mainstream Media accuser. A good paddling, caning, or lashing with a cat o’ nine tails is suggested.

EPILOGUE

“What I find to be amazing is how narratives are set and a lot of it is not true. … The most breathtaking thing for me has been the difference between what the truth is and what often gets reported. … (Fake news) has become an epidemic.”
– former White House Chief-of-Staff Reince Priebus, July 28, 2017

Keep the Faith!

Note: All trademarks both marked and unmarked belong to their respective companies.

Tim Bryce is a writer and the Managing Director of M&JB Investment Company (M&JB) of Palm Harbor, Florida and has over 40 years of experience in the management consulting field. He can be reached at timb001@phmainstreet.com

For Tim’s columns, see:   timbryce.com

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Copyright © 2017 by Tim Bryce. All rights reserved.

Also read Tim’s columns in the THE HUFFINGTON POST

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Tim is a writer and management consultant located in the Tampa Bay area of Florida.

4 comments to HOW TO WRITE NEWS LIKE THE BIG BOYS

  • Don Frankel

    Tim,

    When I saw the headline here I instinctively thought, just make it up. But you’ve literally filled in the blanks on how. The media or the news has always had its little tricks but lately I’ve been having this thought, that they’ve changed the Matrix. If you saw or remember that movie. But basically something has shifted in the plates of news reporting over the last decade or so. I’m not completely sure of all of it and I’m not simply talking bias. Something deeper than that, more like the San Andreas fault.

    Don

  • Thanks Don. Yea, it seemed that the news was becoming so repetitive, it seemed like one of those games we played as kids.

    A lot of the trouble began with the media when they went to a 24/7 news cycle and the competition became fierce.

    All the Best,
    Tim

  • Don and Tim,

    Points well taken, all. Imprimis carried an excellent piece on the media awhile back detailing how and where the shift occurred. Written by Michael Goodwin, it’s titled “The 2016 Election and the Demise of Journalistic Standards.” He blames both The New York Times and The Washington Post in great measure, and says particularly the top Times editor, Dean Baquet, abandoned intentionally standards of fairness and nonpartisanship and allowed news stories to include the reporter’s opinion. Highly recommend giving it a read.

    Clever and well done, Tim.

    Mark

  • Mark –

    Thanks. I have heard of the book. I need to check it out.

    All the Best,
    Tim

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