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Happy Labor Day!

Since this last weekend was Labor Day, we happened to notice that no one says “Happy Labor Day”.  I mean everyone says Happy Thanksgiving, Happy Holidays, Happy Valentine’s Day and of course Happy New Year.  In fact, some people will wish you a Happy New Year all the way into March but no Happy Labor Day.  What’s up with that?  Could it be that Labor Day brings up images of guys with shovels and picks working in the hot sun?  And no one wants to seem as if they are wishing the other person was on a chain gang in Alabama?  Or is it that no one wants to invoke the image of a woman in labor.  You know one of those nightmare scenarios that go on for hours and the poor woman is cursing out the husband, the Doctors and maybe even the good Lord Himself and no one wants to wish that either.  Maybe it’s some other thing too but we’re just happy to have the day off and not have to say “Happy” to everybody or hear “Happy” either.  Also with the absence of not having to say “Happy” you don’t have to worry if you’re offending anyone by saying “Labor Day” instead of “Holiday”.

And another thing we wondered about around here was the cell phone.  We realized that the first people we saw use the cell phone were the guys and gals on Star Trek.  But we also noticed that there was no texting.  And no one ever sent other crew members pictures.  Like Captain Kirk never sent pictures of his privates to any of the women he made it with, neither, earth women or even Alien women.  And when we say Alien women we mean from a galaxy far, far away and not someone without a green card, so it might be a necessity.  I mean maybe they’d never seen one before, a human one that is.  And then, there was no video streaming or music.  Were there Star Fleet regulations against these things?  Or is the question will there be Star Fleet regulations against these things?  Will the future be political correctness run amuck?  And, who wants to sign up for that?

And, is it just us or do you get the feeling that if the Mass Hysteria could manufacture hurricanes, they would?  They not only seem excited as some catastrophe approaches our shores, they seem delighted.  The higher the winds, the heavier the rain the higher the category they can possibly give the storm, the more breathless they become.  Now of course they’re doing all this because they care.  They will stand on the shore as the angry sea comes crashing over boats, docks and sea walls.  Stand there as the rains drench them and the winds whip their hair, as if they are the brave Odysseus adrift in the cruel sea, after he’s lost his ship and all his men.  Then they will look solemnly into the camera and tell you to.  “Stay inside”.  Then the camera will take you back into the studio where two perfectly coiffed humans will give you an update which will be the same thing they told you fifteen minutes before.  But their faces will be slightly grimaced, their heads will be shaking slightly and they will end the latest update with.  “Stay inside.”  And you’ll know in that moment, even if you never realized it before, that someone cares.

And, since probably no one else has done so, here’s hoping you had a Happy Labor Day.

Dicens simile factum est

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Don Frankel

10 comments to Happy Labor Day!

  • Labor Day has a bloody history. As much as anyone else, we have George Mortimer Pullman to thank for the creation of Labor’s “day-off”. President Grover Cleveland signed Labor Day into existence on June 28, 1984, at the height of the Pullman strike, the first strike that involved the whole nation. President Cleveland knew what he was doing.

    He also ordered federal troops into Illinois against the wishes of the governor of Illinois, Peter Altgeld. It was a crucial time in the history of labor-capital relationships.

    Eugene Victor Debs, considered the leader of the labor unrest, was jailed for violation of the Sherman Anti-Trust Act. (I’m no lawyer, I’m still trying to figure that out. I thought the Sherman Anti-Trust Act was designed to kill monopolies.)

  • mistermuse

    Good one, Don, but — maybe it’s just me — it seems like the term “Mass Hysteria” is beginning to suffer from labored pains (overuse). Perhaps it’s time to think about refreshing the term or giving it a new look, like MASS DECLARE-IA, MASS BAVARIA (for Germans), MASS BULGARIA, or MASS VULGATETERIA (for Catholics who only want news from the Vulgate Bible). Granted, the latter three are niche-oriented, but these days you’ve got to specialize if you want to get anywhere-ia.

  • I think the media loves weather because it gives them a chance to take a break from producing fake news about Trump, who they are conspiring evilly to portray as the worst President ever, when he is actually only the worst President since about 1850.

  • Don Frankel

    Thank you Emilye. We know the history of Labor Day. We’re just trying to have some fun here.

  • Don Frankel

    Muse,

    We never want to get caught in the past and are open to moving forward on all fronts. One of our mottoes is ‘No Flies on Us’. So the term Mass Hysteria is certainly open to change. But we have to wait until the end of the Hurricane season as the media will be well hysterical during it.

    Now we had to go look up the Vulgate but having done that, we realized that you might be onto something. You know we love Latin around here too. But we have to admit that no one speaks Latin, so we get it all from Father John Fitzgerald. But how does Missa Hysteria sound?

    Don

  • Don Frankel

    Richard the IVth,

    As you know we endorsed HerHillaryness in the last election. And, we hope you remember our moving article of November 9th, 2016 in which we proclaimed that there was no joy down there at the Bill & Hill, Gold and Silver Pawn Shop and Loan or next door at the Rent a Cheerleader Squad and Drive Thru Massage Pallor. But we’re sort of over the whole Trump thing. It’s kinda boring.

    Don

  • Looks like I’m the one who mis-spelled my own name, my apologies, Bob. I hope this posting makes the correction.

  • Bob Grant

    It does – thank you.

  • Don,

    It was the cell phone thing and Alien women that “caught my eye.” I listen often to Coast to Coast with George Noory while doing the dishes late at night, which has frequent reports of UFO sightings and such. There Alien visitors are a given, so this subject “bares” real consideration!!!!

    Mark

  • Don Frankel

    Mark,

    It seems we have stumbled upon a much larger subject than the crew of Star Trek and we never even thought of this before. Do the E.T.s have cell phones? If not why not? Since they are far more advanced than we are as they come here from a galaxy far, far away why don’t they have cell phones? Why can’t they phone home? Sadly it seems they only have the anal probe down pat.

    Don

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