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Of Dreams and Schemes

Wow!  We are thrilled to hear that HerHillaryness might teach at Columbia University right here in New York City!  Now our readers have weighed in with suggestions for what courses she could teach and they are; Make the Stock Market Work for You, Legal Billing and Record Keeping, Sexual Harassment In Government, How to Save Your Marriage, How to Run for President, How to Write Books That Never Sell But Still Make Millions, Uranium is the New Gold and Whining Is Good For You.  But we think this is a very positive step and we wish her the best.

And Mayor Wilhelm, Wilhelm aka Bill de Blasio, aka Mayor Don Quixote is asking no begging for $5 donations as he runs for re-election!  Who da’ thunk it?  Some say it’s the whole big donor mess, for which he almost got indicted, so he wants to stay away from that, for now.  Some say he just doesn’t handle money well and he really needs the $5.  You can get a real nice slice of pizza for $5 and everyone in NYC knows how much Mayor Quixote loves pizza even if he eats it with a knife and fork.  There are also places where the pizza is not so hot but you can get two slices and cheap soda for $5.  Those places are usually frequented by street Beggars and Bums.  Mayor Don Quixote said he has to beg for $5 donations because of President The Donald Himself.  Why?  Well he wasn’t really clear on that but we’re going with the two slice theory, as the reason behind the $5 donation request/beg.  Why?  Because the guys who frequent those 2 slices and a soda are usually found huddled on subway stairs or sitting on the sidewalk with a sign that says ‘Homeless and Hungry’.  And, Mayor Don Quixote got the idea while wolfing down some pizza with them.  Now the Beggars and the Bums usually ask for a $1 but he’s The Mayor, so he’s gotta figure, that he should get more than them, right?

And Woody Allen has weighed in on the Big Harvey scandal.  Woody thinks it is “tragic for the women” and “sad” for Big Harvey.  But he doesn’t want this to turn into a “witch hunt” like the Salem Witch trials.  You know those trials from centuries past that people refer to but don’t really know anything about.  Now Woody is worried that every male boss who might wink at a woman will need a lawyer.  And, we always think of Woody as sort of Oedipus in reverse.  Oedipus if you remember him killed his father on the road to town and then when he got there, he married his mother.  Woody on the other hand, kicked the Mother to the curb and married the Daughter.  But maybe it’s not some unnamed guy somewhere that Woody is worrying about.  Maybe he’s worried because the Big Harvey scandal is about a guy who makes movies, so he gets to cast beautiful women in those movies.  The type of women, who if he weren’t a movie mogul, he could only date, in his dreams.  So maybe Woody isn’t worried about a new set of Salem Witch trials or male bosses everywhere?  Maybe Woody is worried about a guy, named Woody.

And the Houston Astros came into Yankee Stadium up 2 games to 0 in the American League Championship Series.  They are leaving town today down 3 games to 2 with their tail between their legs.  What happened?  There will be all kinds of analysis by all of the Cognoscenti of the baseball world dissecting the whole thing, but basically, they got mugged.

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2 comments to Of Dreams and Schemes

  • Hillary could also teach a course on HOW TO BE THE LESSER OF TWO EVILS….except it didn’t work too well for her, so it might not be any more popular than those other courses.

    As for the Astros getting mugged in Yankee Stadium, I didn’t realize Yankee Stadium is in a bad neighborhood. You’d think Mayor Wilhelm, Wilhelm aka Mayor Don Quixote would’ve rounded up the usual suspects in the neighborhood ahead of time, or at least provided increased security.

  • Muse,

    You’re getting old if you don’t remember Howard Cosell famously intoning. “Ladies and Gentlemen the Bronx is burning” the night Reggie hit three home runs to clinch the 1977 World Series. Wait, that was forty years ago. It’s okay if you don’t remember. But Yankee Stadium is in the South Bronx a rather notorious place although not what it used to be circa 1977.

    Both the City and the Yankees supply plenty of security but unfortunately for the Astros its all in the stands and the area surrounding the Ballpark.. There’s no help on the field.

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